The Right to Privacy

Last night, the whole family went to a Baptism class, since James is being Baptized in a couple of weeks. While at our church, I ran into my 85-year-old grandmother who promptly scooped my son (her great-grandson) into her arms and took him to introduce to some of her friends. Now, the Church where we are baptizing James also happens to be the same church I went to throughout my entire childhood. I went to the Parish school there from Kindergarten to 8th grade, and as a result, I can't really go anywhere within 2 miles of that community without running into someone I know. I have accepted that. Which is why I don't really hang out in that part of town...well, ever, if I can control it. So anyway, my abuela went upstairs to show off her great-grandson, and of course, the women who she talked to all knew me. And one of the women had daughters a few years younger than me and asked my grandmother if she could take a picture with her camera phone to send to them. What kind of question is that to ask an 85-year-old woman? Oh, I'll tell you! A stupid one. My grandmother is a pretty savvy individual, she knows about the internet, she has a digital camera and she has a cell phone. But guess what, she never uses these things. She knows how to, but she chooses not to. So she has no idea that a single camera phone picture could be circulated on the internet in minutes, curious eyes lapping up the proof that someone close to their age has procreated, the proof that despite our wishes to deny it, we are all growing up.

So, of course, my grandmother complied with the woman, and allowed her to take a picture of my son. And the woman then sent the picture to her daughters in college. And all of this occurred without my knowledge.

So I ask you, when did it become OK for people to take pictures of our children without OUR permission? When did our privacy suddenly not matter anymore? I hold nothing against my grandmother, she didn't know any better, she doesn't understand that this girl could post the picture on facebook, turning my son into an exhibit, no longer a human.

When I was growing up, we came home on the first day of school every year with a waiver for our parents to sign. If the waiver was signed, the school had permission to use photos of the parents' child/children in publications. Now obviously, this camera picture won't be used in any publications (hopefully..) but suppose one of her daughters chooses to post the picture on Facebook, MySpace, etc. What then? Where are my rights with this? Where are my son's rights? I am not on Facebook, and so I have no way of knowing if pictures have been posted of my son. And what if the daughter chooses to forward the picture to friends? That kind of circulation makes me cringe. To have no idea who has a picture of my son in their possession? It's maddening. And I want to ask the woman who took this picture how she would feel if someone had done this to her without her knowledge.

OH, and to top it all off- she saw me in the hall later holding the baby she had just taken a picture of and pretended not to know me.

Unbelievable.