I have written about breastfeeding here, but I have not really told the whole story yet. There have been several obstacles with breastfeeding for me and they have really torn me apart because they were so easily preventable. I read many books on breastfeeding before I gave birth, I knew I wanted my son placed directly on my breast after birth, I knew I never wanted formula to touch his lips and I knew that genetically I was set to breastfeed. But no matter how much you plan and know- things happen.
On Day 2 of my son's life, I was told his bilirubin levels were too high and to start supplementing. I was distraught, but I knew I should listen to my doctor, and I started giving my son formula. Did any of the nurses offer to bring a pump in? No. Did they send a lactation consultant over? No. Did I ask for one? Yes. Did she ever show up? She agreed to, yet I was at the hospital for 5 more days and I never saw her. After my son was transferred to the pediatric ward, a pediatric nurse found a pump for me and taught me how to use it. A pediatric nurse! So for the first days of my son's life, I pumped and fed him a combo of formula and colostrum.
What's messed up about this: I didn't know that despite the jaundice, my son could have eaten only what came from my breasts. It would have taken a little bit longer for his jaundice to go away, but he didn't need the formula. He was never in the "danger zone" and all the precautions taken were more to avoid a lawsuit than anything else.
By Day 10 his bilirubin levels were low enough that I could start breastfeeding again. I was eager to do so, and he breastfed until his 3 week check up. His weight revealed a small 2 oz gain since his last appointment, so the doctor told me to start supplementing again. I was crushed, so I called up a lactation consultant (an idea I would have scoffed at during pregnancy). The lactation consultant then revealed to me that my son was tongue tied, explanation here
So once again, I was practically glued to a pump until my son got a frenectomy (first appt available was 3 weeks later) and even then it still took him another 3 weeks to learn to latch properly. Because I didn't find out until basically Week 4 that my son wasn't nursing correctly, my once abundant supply had dwindled to barely 10 oz a day. It took weeks of pumping every 2 hours to get my breasts back into full milk production, and to this day I still have to supplement with formula to ensure weight gain.
I still breastfeed, and I intend to until my son weans himself or my supply finally surrenders. Many women would have given up by now, and sometimes I am amazed that I have not. What irks me about this situation is that the following things could have prevented it:
1. The doctors or nurses should have known that jaundice is often a sign that a baby is not nursing properly since it means not enough food is entering their system to flush out the bilirubins. NO ONE TOLD ME THIS. I found out from the lactation consultant 3 weeks later.
2. If the hospital Lactation Consultant had bothered to show up after I called her several times, she would have discovered my son's tongue problems and I would have known to pump until he could get a frenectomy.
3. The doctors should not be so fomula happy this early. It's remarkable that my son still switched to the breast after being bottle fed at 2 days old.
4. I should have been given the option to pump and bottle feed exclusively my milk to ensure the baby was consuming enough if volume was a concern. I understand that formula flushes out bilirubin faster, but plenty of jaundiced babies are exclusively breastfed (my husband and his sister included)
Amazingly, the hospital I delivered at is considered one of the most supportive of breastfeeding. That really doesn't explain the look the nurse gave to me when I asked to hold my son after birth so I could nurse him. I'd hate to see less supportive hospitals, what do they do? Administer hormonal shots to prevent a woman's milk from coming in like they did in the 50s?
You might argue that I could have been more assertive about my wishes, and in retrospect I wish I had. However, my inclination is to listen to my doctor. How silly of me.
Monday, June 1, 2009
Thursday, May 21, 2009
Teenage Pregnancy on the Rise- Twenties Pregnancy Too?
The media has been abuzz about Bristol Palin's recent People Magazine cover:
It seems ever since news broke of Bristol's unplanned teen pregnancy, teen pregnancy discussions have been dominating the airwaves. For the first time in many years, we have seen a slight rise in teen pregnancy. Who is to blame? Abstinence only education? Jamie Lynn Spears? Juno? The debate will probably never be settled.
I write about this, however, not because of teenage pregnancy, but because I have noticed a rise in unplanned pregnancy in general. When I was in college, I can remember two isolated incidents when I encountered a fellow pregnant student. Because of this, I chose not to stay at my college while I was pregnant, and instead opted to take some transfer credits closer to home. This was not the only reason I decided to move closer to home, my doctor was there, and my husband was able to find a higher paying job in the DC area than in rural Virginia.
I did not visit my college while I was pregnant, but I did make several trips once my son was born. While I was on campus I began to notice a lot of young women with strollers. I had never seen this on my college campus before. I talked to several of the women, and all of them were college students who chose to keep their children. I was astonished. The last time I had been at my college, the idea of seeing students pushing baby strollers around seemed absurd. Then suddenly, all of 9 months later, here I was seeing several women in my position. When I came back several weeks ago for graduation, I could not believe the number of women I saw carrying around babies while wearing their graduation gowns.
Obviously, my observations are not the same as a scientific survey, but I can't help but wonder about all of this. Was there a bum batch of birth control circulating rural Virginia (or for that matter, the country?) all of last year? Are more women choosing to keep their children now that the internet has made it more possible than ever to hear of other women who have been in their position? Are movies like Juno and Knocked Up making women think twice before terminating? Giving birth in your early twenties is a far cry from 17, but there are still many things that would be more easily accomplished sans child. The highest rate of abortions occur in women between the ages of 20 and 24. And this makes sense. Your early twenties seems like a perfectly fine and mature age to begin sexual activity, but not necessarily the best time to have a child. While the pill's 99% accuracy (if used flawlessly, which, let's face it, a good percentage of college students don't) in preventing pregnancy seems like great odds, that's still essentially 1 in 100. At my university there are about 8,000 women, about 5,000 of whom (if not more) are sexually active and on the pill. If 1 in 100 of those women are to become pregnant, that's 50 pregnancies. Statistics show the woman will likely terminate, so why have I seen so many women between 20 and 24 with babies lately? I have a hard time imagining they were all in the same situation as me (stable relationship, steady income, 9 credits shy of a degree, etc), so what is going on?
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I write about this, however, not because of teenage pregnancy, but because I have noticed a rise in unplanned pregnancy in general. When I was in college, I can remember two isolated incidents when I encountered a fellow pregnant student. Because of this, I chose not to stay at my college while I was pregnant, and instead opted to take some transfer credits closer to home. This was not the only reason I decided to move closer to home, my doctor was there, and my husband was able to find a higher paying job in the DC area than in rural Virginia.
I did not visit my college while I was pregnant, but I did make several trips once my son was born. While I was on campus I began to notice a lot of young women with strollers. I had never seen this on my college campus before. I talked to several of the women, and all of them were college students who chose to keep their children. I was astonished. The last time I had been at my college, the idea of seeing students pushing baby strollers around seemed absurd. Then suddenly, all of 9 months later, here I was seeing several women in my position. When I came back several weeks ago for graduation, I could not believe the number of women I saw carrying around babies while wearing their graduation gowns.
Obviously, my observations are not the same as a scientific survey, but I can't help but wonder about all of this. Was there a bum batch of birth control circulating rural Virginia (or for that matter, the country?) all of last year? Are more women choosing to keep their children now that the internet has made it more possible than ever to hear of other women who have been in their position? Are movies like Juno and Knocked Up making women think twice before terminating? Giving birth in your early twenties is a far cry from 17, but there are still many things that would be more easily accomplished sans child. The highest rate of abortions occur in women between the ages of 20 and 24. And this makes sense. Your early twenties seems like a perfectly fine and mature age to begin sexual activity, but not necessarily the best time to have a child. While the pill's 99% accuracy (if used flawlessly, which, let's face it, a good percentage of college students don't) in preventing pregnancy seems like great odds, that's still essentially 1 in 100. At my university there are about 8,000 women, about 5,000 of whom (if not more) are sexually active and on the pill. If 1 in 100 of those women are to become pregnant, that's 50 pregnancies. Statistics show the woman will likely terminate, so why have I seen so many women between 20 and 24 with babies lately? I have a hard time imagining they were all in the same situation as me (stable relationship, steady income, 9 credits shy of a degree, etc), so what is going on?
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
Finding the Right Diapers
My husband and I were very concerned with the potential carbon footprint of our household when we first learned of our pregnancy. My sister-in-law, who is quite the environmentalist (check out her nonprofit at ioby.org!) explained to us that there is no real difference between cloth diapers and disposable diapers. According to her, the water, detergent and electricity used to maintain cloth diapering (not to mention the gasoline if one chooses to use a diaper service) have about the same environmental impact as diapers that fall into landfills. I was blown away. I always assumed that cloth diapers were more environmentally friendly. However, I think I am going to take her word for it, she is, after all, a graduate of the Yale School of Forestry and Environmental Studies.
She then told me about gDiapers, these awesome corn based diaper hybrids. They are part cloth diaper, part disposable liner. But, get this, the liner decomposes and can be flushed down the toilet. I was sold, so we bought a starter kit when our son was big enough for them, and we gave gDiapers a try. Five days and an overflown toilet later, my husband and I decided that gDiapers weren't for us. We love the idea, but breaking up a diaper with a magic wand in the toilet everytime you change a diaper (which is often, they aren't as absorbent as disposables) is not exactly easy. And our son (along with most breastfed babies) has these enormous poops that go up his back and down his legs, and this problem was even worse in gDiapers. We realized that we might as well be using cloth diapers because we had to wash the gPants a lot (like, every day) and we don't have a lot of disposable income to spend on $15 baby panties. So, alas, we went back to using Pampers.
Then, while at Whole Foods, I noticed a new diaper brand called Nature Babycare. With their earthy looking babies on the cover and neutral colored packaging, I couldn't help but try them out. Started by a Swedish mother? Produced without the use of Petrol? Made from Sustainably harvested trees? Honors the environment without compromising the quality of a disposable diaper? SOLD!
We started using Nature Babycare diapers and I was convinced this would be it. The diaper we would fall in love with, the diaper that was still destined for a landfill, but got there with a smaller carbon footprint, the diaper that I would tell people about and encourage friends to buy.
WRONG.
Nature Babycare diapers have excellent reviews online, which makes me wonder if maybe I got a reject bunch.
The Positives:
Eco Friendly
No cartoon characters on the front (which is great, if, like me, you plan to limit your child's tv exposure)
Umm...they stay on...
The Negatives:
My son has had more than one occasion where two hours into wearing the diaper he is soaked in his own pee
The diapers are unscented, which seems good in theory, but baby boy junk gets smelly fast. Since using the diapers I've had to bathe my son several times a day.
The tabs don't stick to the outside of the diaper, so you can't easily fold them into a neat little package to put into the garbage. I've had to start "tying" them shut, which means more smell and more mess.
I'm starting to think the most eco friendly thing you can do as far as diapering goes is potty train your child asap. My abuela "potty trained" all of her children by six weeks. I realize this sounds crazy, but according to my mother (who is the second oldest of the 7 kids) my abuela had trained herself to recognize when her children would go to the bathroom and put them over a little potty chair starting at six weeks. She then put the baby waste into a compost pile. Although my abuela is not an environmentalist, her awareness of every penny that goes into raising a child resulted in some of the greenest living possible. Although she raised seven children, I am willing to bet that they all had a much smaller impact on the enviroment than the average 2 child family today. Her children all walked to school or took the bus places. She nursed all seven of them, sewed their clothes and lived for hand-me-downs, and now I learn, she had them all "potty trained" by six weeks old. Crazy? Possibly. Green? Definitely.
Alas, I am not the woman my abuela was/is. I have a hard enough time recognizing when my son is going to take a nap, let alone figure out when he is going to do his business. For now, those disposable diapers will have to do.
She then told me about gDiapers, these awesome corn based diaper hybrids. They are part cloth diaper, part disposable liner. But, get this, the liner decomposes and can be flushed down the toilet. I was sold, so we bought a starter kit when our son was big enough for them, and we gave gDiapers a try. Five days and an overflown toilet later, my husband and I decided that gDiapers weren't for us. We love the idea, but breaking up a diaper with a magic wand in the toilet everytime you change a diaper (which is often, they aren't as absorbent as disposables) is not exactly easy. And our son (along with most breastfed babies) has these enormous poops that go up his back and down his legs, and this problem was even worse in gDiapers. We realized that we might as well be using cloth diapers because we had to wash the gPants a lot (like, every day) and we don't have a lot of disposable income to spend on $15 baby panties. So, alas, we went back to using Pampers.
Then, while at Whole Foods, I noticed a new diaper brand called Nature Babycare. With their earthy looking babies on the cover and neutral colored packaging, I couldn't help but try them out. Started by a Swedish mother? Produced without the use of Petrol? Made from Sustainably harvested trees? Honors the environment without compromising the quality of a disposable diaper? SOLD!
We started using Nature Babycare diapers and I was convinced this would be it. The diaper we would fall in love with, the diaper that was still destined for a landfill, but got there with a smaller carbon footprint, the diaper that I would tell people about and encourage friends to buy.
WRONG.
Nature Babycare diapers have excellent reviews online, which makes me wonder if maybe I got a reject bunch.
The Positives:
Eco Friendly
No cartoon characters on the front (which is great, if, like me, you plan to limit your child's tv exposure)
Umm...they stay on...
The Negatives:
My son has had more than one occasion where two hours into wearing the diaper he is soaked in his own pee
The diapers are unscented, which seems good in theory, but baby boy junk gets smelly fast. Since using the diapers I've had to bathe my son several times a day.
The tabs don't stick to the outside of the diaper, so you can't easily fold them into a neat little package to put into the garbage. I've had to start "tying" them shut, which means more smell and more mess.
I'm starting to think the most eco friendly thing you can do as far as diapering goes is potty train your child asap. My abuela "potty trained" all of her children by six weeks. I realize this sounds crazy, but according to my mother (who is the second oldest of the 7 kids) my abuela had trained herself to recognize when her children would go to the bathroom and put them over a little potty chair starting at six weeks. She then put the baby waste into a compost pile. Although my abuela is not an environmentalist, her awareness of every penny that goes into raising a child resulted in some of the greenest living possible. Although she raised seven children, I am willing to bet that they all had a much smaller impact on the enviroment than the average 2 child family today. Her children all walked to school or took the bus places. She nursed all seven of them, sewed their clothes and lived for hand-me-downs, and now I learn, she had them all "potty trained" by six weeks old. Crazy? Possibly. Green? Definitely.
Alas, I am not the woman my abuela was/is. I have a hard enough time recognizing when my son is going to take a nap, let alone figure out when he is going to do his business. For now, those disposable diapers will have to do.
Thursday, April 2, 2009
The Right to Privacy
Last night, the whole family went to a Baptism class, since James is being Baptized in a couple of weeks. While at our church, I ran into my 85-year-old grandmother who promptly scooped my son (her great-grandson) into her arms and took him to introduce to some of her friends. Now, the Church where we are baptizing James also happens to be the same church I went to throughout my entire childhood. I went to the Parish school there from Kindergarten to 8th grade, and as a result, I can't really go anywhere within 2 miles of that community without running into someone I know. I have accepted that. Which is why I don't really hang out in that part of town...well, ever, if I can control it. So anyway, my abuela went upstairs to show off her great-grandson, and of course, the women who she talked to all knew me. And one of the women had daughters a few years younger than me and asked my grandmother if she could take a picture with her camera phone to send to them. What kind of question is that to ask an 85-year-old woman? Oh, I'll tell you! A stupid one. My grandmother is a pretty savvy individual, she knows about the internet, she has a digital camera and she has a cell phone. But guess what, she never uses these things. She knows how to, but she chooses not to. So she has no idea that a single camera phone picture could be circulated on the internet in minutes, curious eyes lapping up the proof that someone close to their age has procreated, the proof that despite our wishes to deny it, we are all growing up.
So, of course, my grandmother complied with the woman, and allowed her to take a picture of my son. And the woman then sent the picture to her daughters in college. And all of this occurred without my knowledge.
So I ask you, when did it become OK for people to take pictures of our children without OUR permission? When did our privacy suddenly not matter anymore? I hold nothing against my grandmother, she didn't know any better, she doesn't understand that this girl could post the picture on facebook, turning my son into an exhibit, no longer a human.
When I was growing up, we came home on the first day of school every year with a waiver for our parents to sign. If the waiver was signed, the school had permission to use photos of the parents' child/children in publications. Now obviously, this camera picture won't be used in any publications (hopefully..) but suppose one of her daughters chooses to post the picture on Facebook, MySpace, etc. What then? Where are my rights with this? Where are my son's rights? I am not on Facebook, and so I have no way of knowing if pictures have been posted of my son. And what if the daughter chooses to forward the picture to friends? That kind of circulation makes me cringe. To have no idea who has a picture of my son in their possession? It's maddening. And I want to ask the woman who took this picture how she would feel if someone had done this to her without her knowledge.
OH, and to top it all off- she saw me in the hall later holding the baby she had just taken a picture of and pretended not to know me.
Unbelievable.
So, of course, my grandmother complied with the woman, and allowed her to take a picture of my son. And the woman then sent the picture to her daughters in college. And all of this occurred without my knowledge.
So I ask you, when did it become OK for people to take pictures of our children without OUR permission? When did our privacy suddenly not matter anymore? I hold nothing against my grandmother, she didn't know any better, she doesn't understand that this girl could post the picture on facebook, turning my son into an exhibit, no longer a human.
When I was growing up, we came home on the first day of school every year with a waiver for our parents to sign. If the waiver was signed, the school had permission to use photos of the parents' child/children in publications. Now obviously, this camera picture won't be used in any publications (hopefully..) but suppose one of her daughters chooses to post the picture on Facebook, MySpace, etc. What then? Where are my rights with this? Where are my son's rights? I am not on Facebook, and so I have no way of knowing if pictures have been posted of my son. And what if the daughter chooses to forward the picture to friends? That kind of circulation makes me cringe. To have no idea who has a picture of my son in their possession? It's maddening. And I want to ask the woman who took this picture how she would feel if someone had done this to her without her knowledge.
OH, and to top it all off- she saw me in the hall later holding the baby she had just taken a picture of and pretended not to know me.
Unbelievable.
Thursday, March 26, 2009
Greatest Morning
I am not normally a cosleeper but James woke up in the middle of the night last night (quite unusual) and I fell asleep while nursing him. This morning I woke up with him smiling in my arms, and he started touching my face. Moments like this make being a mom the most rewarding experience. He used his hands to feel different parts of my face, exploring human features for the first time. He just started picking things up with his hands yesterday. He can hold his stuffed animals now, and he tries with all his might to hold onto his plastic keys for more than 60 seconds. As he placed his hands on my face, I could practically read his mind. He smiled and cooed as he squezed my nose. And I'm overcome with the feeling that there's nothing else in the world I would rather be doing than holding my son as he learns more about his world (and his mother's huge nose).
Saturday, February 14, 2009
The James Game
Every night, without fail, at 2 AM
Step 1: Wake up demanding to be fed.
Step 2:Nurse until milk is pouring out of mouth and dribbling down chin.
Step 3: Smile and coo like it's the funniest thing ever that he woke mom up and isn't even going to drink a full meal.
Step 4: Fall back to sleep immediately
All of this takes place in the span of under 8 minutes.
Step 1: Wake up demanding to be fed.
Step 2:Nurse until milk is pouring out of mouth and dribbling down chin.
Step 3: Smile and coo like it's the funniest thing ever that he woke mom up and isn't even going to drink a full meal.
Step 4: Fall back to sleep immediately
All of this takes place in the span of under 8 minutes.
Friday, February 13, 2009
Baby Update
I really wish someone had told me these words of advice:
The first 8 weeks of parenting suck. No, it's not just the lack of sleep. It's not just the whole readjusting to a new identity. It's not just freaking out over your new mom body. BUT I PROMISE IT GETS BETTER (why didn't anyone tell me this?!?!).
I'm going to be brave and say it- newborn babies are boring. They can't smile for you yet. They're not cooing yet. They are totally incapable of doing anything but the following: crying, pooping, peeing, nursing.
But then the baby hits 8 weeks...and it's amazing. The torturous 8 weeks are so beyond worth it the first time your baby wakes up in the morning and smiles for you.
Now according to everyone I know, I am incredibly lucky, and I know I am. James is such a good baby. He barely cries- ever. He is already sleeping an 8 hour chunk. I was totally terrified I was sleeping through his cries, and I actually stayed up all night recently to listen for his cries. SILENCE. He's either sleeping or in the most amazing quiet alert state, watching everything around him with wonder and awe. The only time he cries is if his view of the world is covered or he is seriously hungry. His wonder at the world is one of the most beautiful things I have ever seen. That still doesn't take away the fact that the first 8 weeks suck beyond belief.
The first 8 weeks of parenting suck. No, it's not just the lack of sleep. It's not just the whole readjusting to a new identity. It's not just freaking out over your new mom body. BUT I PROMISE IT GETS BETTER (why didn't anyone tell me this?!?!).
I'm going to be brave and say it- newborn babies are boring. They can't smile for you yet. They're not cooing yet. They are totally incapable of doing anything but the following: crying, pooping, peeing, nursing.
But then the baby hits 8 weeks...and it's amazing. The torturous 8 weeks are so beyond worth it the first time your baby wakes up in the morning and smiles for you.
Now according to everyone I know, I am incredibly lucky, and I know I am. James is such a good baby. He barely cries- ever. He is already sleeping an 8 hour chunk. I was totally terrified I was sleeping through his cries, and I actually stayed up all night recently to listen for his cries. SILENCE. He's either sleeping or in the most amazing quiet alert state, watching everything around him with wonder and awe. The only time he cries is if his view of the world is covered or he is seriously hungry. His wonder at the world is one of the most beautiful things I have ever seen. That still doesn't take away the fact that the first 8 weeks suck beyond belief.
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