Mamacita Momma

Inglesina Zuma

2009-07-18T11:12:00.000-07:00

My husband and I initially decided that we wanted to use a booster seat with our son. The minute our lease is up (4 weeks!!!) we are moving to Brooklyn, and we know that the less space taken up by baby gear, the better. This was all fine and good until the day my son discovered the power in his legs, and he started lifting his legs and using the table to propel himself backwards. Fortunately he never hurt himself, but I told my mother-in-law about this, and two weeks later we were at Baby Blossom picking out a high chair for James.
It was not love at first sight with the Inglesina Zuma. My first thought? Jeez, this is huge and outrageously expensive. At $299, the Inglesina costs more than the Tripp Trapp and the Svan and doesn't have the fancy carpentry to compensate. But what the Zuma lacks in wooden appeal, it more than makes up for in convenience. The seat has three heights and a removeable tray, so the child can sit at the table like with the Tripp Trapp and the Svan. But the tray is still there for finger food and mess! Remove the tray and lower the seat all the way, and you also have a great little toddler chair. Magnets keep the fabric in place, and there's a five-point harness in addition to the crossbar/pommel/strut between baby's legs.

But you could find all of this out from Inglesina's website. What about the cons? The space between the tray and baby is pretty large, and pieces of food get around the strut and underneath the fabric. Because of the extra room, sometimes toes sneak above the tray (see picture of son wearing blue). Uh, isn't the whole point of having a high chair to keep toes from getting into food? Otherwise, I would feed my son in his carseat! The Zuma also takes up a lot of room while it is open, however, it folds up very tightly and neatly, which was a big selling point for the apartment dweller in me.

Overall? This is not the catholicon for high chairs like the Inglesina Zippy is for strollers. It's a beautiful chair, and my son loves it, but for the money there could be some big improvements. Still, I love the seat and am very happy with it, and from what I hear almost every high chair has its negatives. If you have a disposable income, this is a great seat to purchase, as it is both a traditional high chair and a chair designed to include baby with the family at dinner. Not only that, the seat looks great! To get more of an idea on it check out Babble's review of it.

Since this is Inglesina's first go at the high chair market, I am sure two or three models down the road, this will be the high chair that everyone wants. Until then, putting up with the kinks is way worth it.

The Inglesina Zippy

2009-07-10T12:07:00.000-07:00

In my earlier post, I talked about prebaby ambitions and goals. One of our loftier goals is to avoid Chinese made products. This is so much easier said than done. Even the fancy European brands that were made in Europe when my sister (age 9) was a baby are outsourcing to China. This is also a tough goal if your friends and family do not know about your decision. We have been given so many Chinese made toys and we don't want to be "those people." So usually when such a toy is given to us, we do the research on the company and their practices and make our decision from there.

Eventually keeping our goal with toys became close to impossible, and while we are still very aware of the toys we buy, we decided to focus more on big purchases, ie ones that cost more than $100.

First came the stroller search. My husband and I spent 3 hours at this store. We could literally be seen in the parking lot pushing around strollers as my husband got his engineer on, examining the mechanics of each and every one. This store carries every European designed stroller on the market, and we had a blast choosing one. We were surprised to learn, however, that several of the strollers that we were considering were made in China. Suddenly that $800 price tag no longer radiated of European luxury, but of robbery.

Eventually we decided on the Italian made Inglesina Zippy stroller, which I adore. The Inglesina is sturdy and reliable and I like the one handed close. Another cool bonus is that the seat converts to a flat enough back for an infant. I also like that we were able to have an awesome European stroller that was within our price range.

The Postitives:

Compact fold (excellent for city dwellers)
One handed fold, I can hold my son and collapse the stroller while getting onto the Subway
Can be used beginning in infancy without a carseat
Fabric easily wipes clean
Large storage space
Convenient magnetic pocket on visor
The visor can move all the way down to your child's feet so baby stays dry if it rains
The wheels are easily manuevered
Comes with a muff at no extra cost
At $400 it is a "steal" with most European "designed" strollers (ie made in China) costing much more
Despite weighing only 17 lbs (!!!) it is very durable
Made in Italy (if that matters to you)

The Negatives
The lower basket can only be accessed from the front and sides
It takes a few days to figure out how the visor works and how to collapse the stroller with the visor on
The cupholder is a joke
At $400, it is one of the more expensive strollers on the market

As you can see, the positives far outweight the negatives. I seriously had to sit down and think about the negatives for awhile. If you are really stuck on what kind of stroller to get, I highly reccommend this one.

Parenting Choices

2009-07-10T11:16:00.001-07:00

I know my husband and I are not the first parents who were adamant about our own childrearing ideals before we had our son. It seems that many people know so much about parenting before they have children, and then said child(ren) comes and suddenly they realize they don't know jacks***.

I count my husband and I among these parenting know-it-alls turned floundering dunces.

Sure, there are the typical ideals "all organic cotton for my baby!" But then there are the attachment parenting crowd ideals. Now don't get me wrong, I consider myself an attachment parent, but the pressure in those first weeks is fierce! You know the drill, "only organic cloth diapers for my little one," "a bottle shall never touch my child's lips until maternity leave is over," "a pacifier will stifle my child's self expression," or perhaps, "a child should always be held and loved AT ALL TIMES, even while they are asleep, you will never see me use a swing or infant seat in my house!" Then, you actually have your child. And by the time you have changed the 15th cloth diaper in 24 hours, your nipples are bloody and cracked and your child won't stop crying unless your boob is in his/her mouth, things start to look a little different.

Eventually, one night at 2AM you find yourself questioning all your prebaby ambition. Is it the lack of sleep? The pregnancy juices escaping your pores? The heightened levels of prolactin eating away at your brain? Whatever it is, you realize that eventually something has to give. You grab the pacifiers your Aunt Mildred gave you (that you swore you would never use), your husband runs out to the store for disposable diapers, while you bust out the free manual pump from the hospital(not to be used for weeks) and put together that swing someone gave you at your shower that you planned on dropping off at Good Will. All the while, you are rationalizing your decisions as you feel the eyes of the invisible parenting judges making their marks.

- But the pacifiers are so well engineered! They are made in Austria!
- My sister-in-law told me that cloth and disposal diapers have an equal ecological impact and she got her environmental management masters at YALE!
- Why should I be the only one in charge of feeding my baby? I am a liberated woman! Parenting should be equal! The pump is the great equalizer!!!
- I shouldn't waste a perfectly good shower gift, right?
- Oh whatever shut up judgemental parents! Do you want to breastfeed my son?

Of course, none of these decisions were permanent. I didn't stop breastfeeding my son, but I occasionally gave myself a break and pumped so that my husband could feed him. We eventually decided that the swing wasn't for us, and we have since gotten rid of it. But disposable diapers and pacifiers? Heck yes, baby. And fortunately for us, soon I figured out how to use the Baby K'Tan and the "holding baby all the time" issue was no longer one. And now my son is old enough to play with his blocks on his own, so the fact that he doesn't like swings or that we don't like putting him in an infant seat is no longer an issue. There were things we did stick to our guns about (like no TV, no carseat except in the car, minimizing the Chinese manufactured goods as much as possible, etc). But I do have to say, my life is so much easier now that I have tapered my parenting style.

All Bottled Up

2009-06-01T10:40:00.000-07:00

I have written about breastfeeding here, but I have not really told the whole story yet. There have been several obstacles with breastfeeding for me and they have really torn me apart because they were so easily preventable. I read many books on breastfeeding before I gave birth, I knew I wanted my son placed directly on my breast after birth, I knew I never wanted formula to touch his lips and I knew that genetically I was set to breastfeed. But no matter how much you plan and know- things happen.

On Day 2 of my son's life, I was told his bilirubin levels were too high and to start supplementing. I was distraught, but I knew I should listen to my doctor, and I started giving my son formula. Did any of the nurses offer to bring a pump in? No. Did they send a lactation consultant over? No. Did I ask for one? Yes. Did she ever show up? She agreed to, yet I was at the hospital for 5 more days and I never saw her. After my son was transferred to the pediatric ward, a pediatric nurse found a pump for me and taught me how to use it. A pediatric nurse! So for the first days of my son's life, I pumped and fed him a combo of formula and colostrum.

What's messed up about this: I didn't know that despite the jaundice, my son could have eaten only what came from my breasts. It would have taken a little bit longer for his jaundice to go away, but he didn't need the formula. He was never in the "danger zone" and all the precautions taken were more to avoid a lawsuit than anything else.

By Day 10 his bilirubin levels were low enough that I could start breastfeeding again. I was eager to do so, and he breastfed until his 3 week check up. His weight revealed a small 2 oz gain since his last appointment, so the doctor told me to start supplementing again. I was crushed, so I called up a lactation consultant (an idea I would have scoffed at during pregnancy). The lactation consultant then revealed to me that my son was tongue tied, explanation here
So once again, I was practically glued to a pump until my son got a frenectomy (first appt available was 3 weeks later) and even then it still took him another 3 weeks to learn to latch properly. Because I didn't find out until basically Week 4 that my son wasn't nursing correctly, my once abundant supply had dwindled to barely 10 oz a day. It took weeks of pumping every 2 hours to get my breasts back into full milk production, and to this day I still have to supplement with formula to ensure weight gain.

I still breastfeed, and I intend to until my son weans himself or my supply finally surrenders. Many women would have given up by now, and sometimes I am amazed that I have not. What irks me about this situation is that the following things could have prevented it:

1. The doctors or nurses should have known that jaundice is often a sign that a baby is not nursing properly since it means not enough food is entering their system to flush out the bilirubins. NO ONE TOLD ME THIS. I found out from the lactation consultant 3 weeks later.
2. If the hospital Lactation Consultant had bothered to show up after I called her several times, she would have discovered my son's tongue problems and I would have known to pump until he could get a frenectomy.
3. The doctors should not be so fomula happy this early. It's remarkable that my son still switched to the breast after being bottle fed at 2 days old.
4. I should have been given the option to pump and bottle feed exclusively my milk to ensure the baby was consuming enough if volume was a concern. I understand that formula flushes out bilirubin faster, but plenty of jaundiced babies are exclusively breastfed (my husband and his sister included)

Amazingly, the hospital I delivered at is considered one of the most supportive of breastfeeding. That really doesn't explain the look the nurse gave to me when I asked to hold my son after birth so I could nurse him. I'd hate to see less supportive hospitals, what do they do? Administer hormonal shots to prevent a woman's milk from coming in like they did in the 50s?

You might argue that I could have been more assertive about my wishes, and in retrospect I wish I had. However, my inclination is to listen to my doctor. How silly of me.

Teenage Pregnancy on the Rise- Twenties Pregnancy Too?

2009-05-21T10:28:00.000-07:00

The media has been abuzz about Bristol Palin's recent People Magazine cover:

It seems ever since news broke of Bristol's unplanned teen pregnancy, teen pregnancy discussions have been dominating the airwaves. For the first time in many years, we have seen a slight rise in teen pregnancy. Who is to blame? Abstinence only education? Jamie Lynn Spears? Juno? The debate will probably never be settled.

I write about this, however, not because of teenage pregnancy, but because I have noticed a rise in unplanned pregnancy in general. When I was in college, I can remember two isolated incidents when I encountered a fellow pregnant student. Because of this, I chose not to stay at my college while I was pregnant, and instead opted to take some transfer credits closer to home. This was not the only reason I decided to move closer to home, my doctor was there, and my husband was able to find a higher paying job in the DC area than in rural Virginia.

I did not visit my college while I was pregnant, but I did make several trips once my son was born. While I was on campus I began to notice a lot of young women with strollers. I had never seen this on my college campus before. I talked to several of the women, and all of them were college students who chose to keep their children. I was astonished. The last time I had been at my college, the idea of seeing students pushing baby strollers around seemed absurd. Then suddenly, all of 9 months later, here I was seeing several women in my position. When I came back several weeks ago for graduation, I could not believe the number of women I saw carrying around babies while wearing their graduation gowns.

Obviously, my observations are not the same as a scientific survey, but I can't help but wonder about all of this. Was there a bum batch of birth control circulating rural Virginia (or for that matter, the country?) all of last year? Are more women choosing to keep their children now that the internet has made it more possible than ever to hear of other women who have been in their position? Are movies like Juno and Knocked Up making women think twice before terminating? Giving birth in your early twenties is a far cry from 17, but there are still many things that would be more easily accomplished sans child. The highest rate of abortions occur in women between the ages of 20 and 24. And this makes sense. Your early twenties seems like a perfectly fine and mature age to begin sexual activity, but not necessarily the best time to have a child. While the pill's 99% accuracy (if used flawlessly, which, let's face it, a good percentage of college students don't) in preventing pregnancy seems like great odds, that's still essentially 1 in 100. At my university there are about 8,000 women, about 5,000 of whom (if not more) are sexually active and on the pill. If 1 in 100 of those women are to become pregnant, that's 50 pregnancies. Statistics show the woman will likely terminate, so why have I seen so many women between 20 and 24 with babies lately? I have a hard time imagining they were all in the same situation as me (stable relationship, steady income, 9 credits shy of a degree, etc), so what is going on?

Finding the Right Diapers

2009-05-20T13:58:00.000-07:00

My husband and I were very concerned with the potential carbon footprint of our household when we first learned of our pregnancy. My sister-in-law, who is quite the environmentalist (check out her nonprofit at ioby.org!) explained to us that there is no real difference between cloth diapers and disposable diapers. According to her, the water, detergent and electricity used to maintain cloth diapering (not to mention the gasoline if one chooses to use a diaper service) have about the same environmental impact as diapers that fall into landfills. I was blown away. I always assumed that cloth diapers were more environmentally friendly. However, I think I am going to take her word for it, she is, after all, a graduate of the Yale School of Forestry and Environmental Studies.

She then told me about gDiapers, these awesome corn based diaper hybrids. They are part cloth diaper, part disposable liner. But, get this, the liner decomposes and can be flushed down the toilet. I was sold, so we bought a starter kit when our son was big enough for them, and we gave gDiapers a try. Five days and an overflown toilet later, my husband and I decided that gDiapers weren't for us. We love the idea, but breaking up a diaper with a magic wand in the toilet everytime you change a diaper (which is often, they aren't as absorbent as disposables) is not exactly easy. And our son (along with most breastfed babies) has these enormous poops that go up his back and down his legs, and this problem was even worse in gDiapers. We realized that we might as well be using cloth diapers because we had to wash the gPants a lot (like, every day) and we don't have a lot of disposable income to spend on $15 baby panties. So, alas, we went back to using Pampers.

Then, while at Whole Foods, I noticed a new diaper brand called Nature Babycare. With their earthy looking babies on the cover and neutral colored packaging, I couldn't help but try them out. Started by a Swedish mother? Produced without the use of Petrol? Made from Sustainably harvested trees? Honors the environment without compromising the quality of a disposable diaper? SOLD!

We started using Nature Babycare diapers and I was convinced this would be it. The diaper we would fall in love with, the diaper that was still destined for a landfill, but got there with a smaller carbon footprint, the diaper that I would tell people about and encourage friends to buy.
WRONG.

Nature Babycare diapers have excellent reviews online, which makes me wonder if maybe I got a reject bunch.

The Positives:
Eco Friendly

No cartoon characters on the front (which is great, if, like me, you plan to limit your child's tv exposure)

Umm...they stay on...

The Negatives:
My son has had more than one occasion where two hours into wearing the diaper he is soaked in his own pee

The diapers are unscented, which seems good in theory, but baby boy junk gets smelly fast. Since using the diapers I've had to bathe my son several times a day.

The tabs don't stick to the outside of the diaper, so you can't easily fold them into a neat little package to put into the garbage. I've had to start "tying" them shut, which means more smell and more mess.

I'm starting to think the most eco friendly thing you can do as far as diapering goes is potty train your child asap. My abuela "potty trained" all of her children by six weeks. I realize this sounds crazy, but according to my mother (who is the second oldest of the 7 kids) my abuela had trained herself to recognize when her children would go to the bathroom and put them over a little potty chair starting at six weeks. She then put the baby waste into a compost pile. Although my abuela is not an environmentalist, her awareness of every penny that goes into raising a child resulted in some of the greenest living possible. Although she raised seven children, I am willing to bet that they all had a much smaller impact on the enviroment than the average 2 child family today. Her children all walked to school or took the bus places. She nursed all seven of them, sewed their clothes and lived for hand-me-downs, and now I learn, she had them all "potty trained" by six weeks old. Crazy? Possibly. Green? Definitely.

Alas, I am not the woman my abuela was/is. I have a hard enough time recognizing when my son is going to take a nap, let alone figure out when he is going to do his business. For now, those disposable diapers will have to do.

The Right to Privacy

2009-04-02T11:59:00.000-07:00

Last night, the whole family went to a Baptism class, since James is being Baptized in a couple of weeks. While at our church, I ran into my 85-year-old grandmother who promptly scooped my son (her great-grandson) into her arms and took him to introduce to some of her friends. Now, the Church where we are baptizing James also happens to be the same church I went to throughout my entire childhood. I went to the Parish school there from Kindergarten to 8th grade, and as a result, I can't really go anywhere within 2 miles of that community without running into someone I know. I have accepted that. Which is why I don't really hang out in that part of town...well, ever, if I can control it. So anyway, my abuela went upstairs to show off her great-grandson, and of course, the women who she talked to all knew me. And one of the women had daughters a few years younger than me and asked my grandmother if she could take a picture with her camera phone to send to them. What kind of question is that to ask an 85-year-old woman? Oh, I'll tell you! A stupid one. My grandmother is a pretty savvy individual, she knows about the internet, she has a digital camera and she has a cell phone. But guess what, she never uses these things. She knows how to, but she chooses not to. So she has no idea that a single camera phone picture could be circulated on the internet in minutes, curious eyes lapping up the proof that someone close to their age has procreated, the proof that despite our wishes to deny it, we are all growing up.

So, of course, my grandmother complied with the woman, and allowed her to take a picture of my son. And the woman then sent the picture to her daughters in college. And all of this occurred without my knowledge.

So I ask you, when did it become OK for people to take pictures of our children without OUR permission? When did our privacy suddenly not matter anymore? I hold nothing against my grandmother, she didn't know any better, she doesn't understand that this girl could post the picture on facebook, turning my son into an exhibit, no longer a human.

When I was growing up, we came home on the first day of school every year with a waiver for our parents to sign. If the waiver was signed, the school had permission to use photos of the parents' child/children in publications. Now obviously, this camera picture won't be used in any publications (hopefully..) but suppose one of her daughters chooses to post the picture on Facebook, MySpace, etc. What then? Where are my rights with this? Where are my son's rights? I am not on Facebook, and so I have no way of knowing if pictures have been posted of my son. And what if the daughter chooses to forward the picture to friends? That kind of circulation makes me cringe. To have no idea who has a picture of my son in their possession? It's maddening. And I want to ask the woman who took this picture how she would feel if someone had done this to her without her knowledge.

OH, and to top it all off- she saw me in the hall later holding the baby she had just taken a picture of and pretended not to know me.

Unbelievable.

Greatest Morning

2009-03-26T20:01:00.001-07:00

I am not normally a cosleeper but James woke up in the middle of the night last night (quite unusual) and I fell asleep while nursing him. This morning I woke up with him smiling in my arms, and he started touching my face. Moments like this make being a mom the most rewarding experience. He used his hands to feel different parts of my face, exploring human features for the first time. He just started picking things up with his hands yesterday. He can hold his stuffed animals now, and he tries with all his might to hold onto his plastic keys for more than 60 seconds. As he placed his hands on my face, I could practically read his mind. He smiled and cooed as he squezed my nose. And I'm overcome with the feeling that there's nothing else in the world I would rather be doing than holding my son as he learns more about his world (and his mother's huge nose).

The James Game

2009-02-14T23:15:00.001-08:00

Every night, without fail, at 2 AM

Step 1: Wake up demanding to be fed.
Step 2:Nurse until milk is pouring out of mouth and dribbling down chin.
Step 3: Smile and coo like it's the funniest thing ever that he woke mom up and isn't even going to drink a full meal.
Step 4: Fall back to sleep immediately

All of this takes place in the span of under 8 minutes.

Baby Update

2009-02-13T12:56:00.000-08:00

I really wish someone had told me these words of advice:

The first 8 weeks of parenting suck. No, it's not just the lack of sleep. It's not just the whole readjusting to a new identity. It's not just freaking out over your new mom body. BUT I PROMISE IT GETS BETTER (why didn't anyone tell me this?!?!).

I'm going to be brave and say it- newborn babies are boring. They can't smile for you yet. They're not cooing yet. They are totally incapable of doing anything but the following: crying, pooping, peeing, nursing.

But then the baby hits 8 weeks...and it's amazing. The torturous 8 weeks are so beyond worth it the first time your baby wakes up in the morning and smiles for you.

Now according to everyone I know, I am incredibly lucky, and I know I am. James is such a good baby. He barely cries- ever. He is already sleeping an 8 hour chunk. I was totally terrified I was sleeping through his cries, and I actually stayed up all night recently to listen for his cries. SILENCE. He's either sleeping or in the most amazing quiet alert state, watching everything around him with wonder and awe. The only time he cries is if his view of the world is covered or he is seriously hungry. His wonder at the world is one of the most beautiful things I have ever seen. That still doesn't take away the fact that the first 8 weeks suck beyond belief.

Breastfeeding Begins

2009-02-03T13:48:00.000-08:00

One of my earliest baby-related memories is watching my aunt nurse her firstborn son. In fact, memories from my mother's side of the family are flooded with visions of swollen breasts and nursing babies. So naturally, my plan from the start was to breastfeed my son. I was breastfed. My siblings were breastfed. My husband was breastfed and is very supportive of breastfeeding our son. Two weeks before James' birth we purchased nursing bras and nightgowns and my mother gave me a book on breastfeeding. Everything was set to go.

The morning after James was born I had what was probably one of the most bizarre yet amazing experiences of my life.

My husband went home to take a nap, and my mother came by to see her new grandson. Minutes later, my abuela entered. There are no words to describe this woman, but I will attempt to. Abuelita, or "Lita" as we call her, is half old world and half new world. She's stuck somewhere between Nuevo Laredo and Arlington, VA. She puts toothpicks in her avocado pits and attempts to grow a tree on the windowsill. She belongs to a "grandmas only" duck pin team. She has a portrait of a neon blue bull fighter next to a picture of my abuelo in his American Army uniform. She eats frijoles refritos on Wonder Bread. Seriously. And boy, does this woman always have a story for you. My brothers and I used to play a game where we would try to think of the most random thing possible and bring it up with her to see if we could stump her story telling. It has yet to happen. And I love her. I love everything about her. She can drive you crazy, but her stories and food and quirks make everything worth it.

That morning, I had old world Lita standing in my room. My mother and my grandmother sat with me and showed me how to help James form a proper latch to the breast. There I was, totally exposed to my mother and grandmother. 1 year ago I would have died at the thought of this, but for some reason, the situation felt totally right. Lita held James while my mom helped me get situated, and when I was ready for him she said, "zhoom! eet eez tiyime for lonch leetle whun!" and placed him on my breast. And then James began to chomp away. I've never really identified with my Mexican heritage, my mom's family assimilated big time in the 50s and lost a lot of their culture, but for that moment, we were in Mexico, and it was beautiful. If only every woman could have this kind of support from women in her family, then maybe a lot more women would breastfeed.

My Baby Turkey

2009-02-02T19:39:00.000-08:00

I should have known my son would come on Thanksgiving. Since my husband's family and my family both live within 20 minutes of our townhouse, my husband and I were at a loss of what to do for Thanksgiving. We had visions of eating three turkey dinners (both my parents also have both families in the area) and my husband carting my pregnant ass out in a wheelbarrow. Fortunately, the conundrum was solved for us.

On my 37 week postpartum appointment (11/25/08) my blood pressure was ::slightly:: high, so my doctor decided to induce labor. I will save you the labor story, because I've found that unless it's someone you know intimately, labor stories can be kind of boring. I will just say this- I spent 24 hours in the hospital while they tried to induce labor, I had 4 doses of Cytotec, sweeping of the membranes (OUCH...hurt more than the contractions), and almost 10 hours of pitocin until finally the Dr. sent me home. 1 hour later, while getting some much needed sleep, my water broke and my husband and I were back at the hospital.

On Thanksgiving Day at 1:18 PM, my son James was born. He was and is a beautiful baby boy. At that moment my life changed forever, and for the better, even if it is much earlier than I ever expected it to happen. My husband and I are ecstatic for our new journey through parenthood (We're also pretty excited that we'll be in our early 40s when James starts college!). We certainly had something to be very thankful for this Thanksgiving.

If 40 is the new 25, then 25 is the new 10?

2008-09-08T11:51:00.000-07:00

Every now and then when I am out, I get people looking at me like I am a pregnant teenager. Things aren't quite as bad if my husband is with me, but the looks are still pretty remarkable. I kept wondering why someone would be judgmental about a pregnant woman in her twenties, but then I realized something. The majority of pregnant people and parents in the DC area these days are way past their twenties. Today I saw a pregnant woman at Trader Joe's. She was expecting her first child and had gray hair. I guess the fact of the matter is, if 40 is the new 25, I am actually 7 years old, so no wonder all these older women with toddlers are looking at me as if I am unfit to be pregnant, let alone be a mother.

I guess the upside of this is that I will be "25" around the time my son is ready for college. And if my son follows this trend of intentionally having babies after 40, I have some hope of eventually meeting my grandchildren.

My Story

2008-08-27T11:10:00.000-07:00

I have spent weeks attempting to find a website that offers advice to a woman in my specific situation. I am in my early 20s and recently married. I got married after discovering that despite using two forms of birth control and being supposedly infertile, I was in fact 13 weeks pregnant. I had planned to marry my boyfriend (several years older than me) after I graduated from college, so we decided to speed up our initial plans. While we know that the next few years are going to be challenging beyond belief, we love each other and know that this is one of the best decisions we have ever made. I am finishing up my last semester of college and our baby is due on my graduation day. The odds of me being able to walk at my own graduation? Not so great, but as long as I get a picture in my cap and gown, I am not too concerned about it.

My point is, all pregnancy sites out there assume one of the following: That your baby was totally planned, and if unplanned, you were already married and are over 28 OR they are assuming you are a 15-year-old idiot who was too stupid to keep her panties up. What about women like me? What about when birth control doesn't work? It happens! It rarely occurs, but I am living proof that it still happens.

So today, I am starting a blog to share my experience as a younger than most mom-to-be, with a loving and supportive husband, who had no plans to have a baby anytime soon. I am sure there are more women like me out there.